Mar 18, 2019
Today I want to talk about trust because trust is one of the biggest areas affected when it comes to betrayal. I look at trust as a brick wall. This brick wall can take 10, 20, 30, 40 years to be built and to be constructed, and it can be taken down in a matter of moments. How does trust get to be rebuilt again? Brick by brick by brick, slowly, consistently and just over time, it cannot be rushed. When people say, "Trust is sacred, don't mess with trust," it's because it is so hard to rebuild, especially with that same person after you've been betrayed.
We look at it and say, "Okay, well," after a betrayal experience, "I don't trust my betrayer. I don't even trust myself, because how did I not see this, know this, feel this?" It leaves us with this sense of insecurity. We don't feel safe because first of all when it comes to the other people if the people we trusted the most prove untrustworthy, who do we trust? When the ones we'd run to when other people are causing harm are in fact the ones causing the harm, where do we go? The combination of not being able to trust or not feeling safe enough to trust the person who hurt us and not even feeling safe and comfortable with our own judgment puts us in a really weird place.
I get this question all the time, "Can I ever trust again," and, "How can I ever trust again?" The answer is, you can. It takes work, it takes time, but you can. I have this really simple-- Now when I mean simple it doesn't mean easy, it just means simple, recipe of how to rebuild trust, and it's a few steps. The way that I've seen it work well is in this order and in this process. The first stage is learning to trust in the simplest things. The simplest things, like the sun will rise every day, the sun will set every day. What you do is you choose something that you just know for sure will happen, and in knowing that that will happen and then it does, you can learn to trust that.
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