Dec 16, 2019
Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford has seen her share of betrayal through her career as a forensic psychologist, marriage and family therapist. She has seen first hand the effects of traumatic experiences and the symptoms of re-emergence. Today Dr. Bates-Duford is here to shed some light on her experiences working to stabilize families, navigate mental illness, and help patients recover from abuse in order to get back to daily functioning.
If you have ever been curious about an expert’s opinion on relationship advice for everything from couples to parents to siblings, Dr. Bates-Duford is your girl. All topics are on the table today, including how to confront yourself in the mirror and the best way to get out of that ‘stuck’ state. By digging deep and getting into your own truth, you can take initiative in your relationship and disentangle yourself from the pain you feel today.
Have you ever experienced couples counseling? Let us know how it impacted your relationship in the comments on the episode page.
In This Episode
- Getting to your inner truth by confronting yourself in the mirror
- Finding relationship boundaries between your home life and work-life
- What to do when someone you trust betrays your sacred bond
- Recognizing unhealthy emotional and physical dependency
- The average timeline for couples working to repair a relationship after a betrayal
Quotes
“She found that she couldn’t even meet herself in the eye because she knew what she was saying wasn’t entirely true, she was trying to convince herself that this person wanted to help but couldn’t help.” (7:25)
“Certain people will never put themselves in your shoes. You can still love them, but it doesn’t mean you have to compromise yourself in order to prove that you are a strong and supportive family member.” (8:01)
“If someone else on the outside betrays us it’s really not that big a deal because, at the end of the day, part of us almost feels like we are expecting it because we don't hold them to the same standard as we do a family member or romantic partner.” (12:15)
“Typically when people come into couples therapy it is at the point of brink, and most marriages won't survive at that point… you need to get in as soon as you start to have negative feelings.” (21:00)
Links
Psych Central Blogs by Dr. Bates-Duford
Find the full episode post here: https://pbtinstitute.com/91
Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://pbtinstitute.com/quiz/
Products and Programs specifically designed to help you heal from
betrayal: https://pbtinstitute.com/shop/
Connect:
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform
Free Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/WomenHackingBetrayal/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebiSilber
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/
Watch my TEDx: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro