Jul 8, 2024
Episode Overview:
In this episode, we dive into the sensitive topic of abuse with Dr.
Jennifer Gardella. Jennifer shares her personal journey through
abusive relationships, highlighting the subtle and often overlooked
signs of abuse. This episode serves as a guide to recognizing,
understanding, and healing from abuse.
Key Points:
Jennifer’s Story:
Jennifer explains how abuse can start subtly, often with a belief
system instilled from a young age that one is not worthy and must
depend on others.
She shares her experience of unknowingly attaching herself to an
abuser who initially seemed perfect, a process known as love
bombing.
Understanding Love Bombing:
Love bombing involves excessive compliments, gifts, and attention
early in the relationship, creating a trauma bond.
Examples include lavish gifts and expensive vacations within weeks
of meeting.
The Cycle of Abuse:
Abusers slowly pull their victims deeper into the relationship,
gaining control and manipulating them.
Jennifer discusses how her abuser encouraged her to move in with
him and gradually isolated her from her own life and
career.
Impact on Family:
Jennifer’s children played a significant role in her realization
and escape from the abusive relationship.
Her children saw the abuse and were instrumental in encouraging her
to leave.
The Role of COVID-19:
The pandemic acted as a catalyst for Jennifer to leave her abusive
situation.
She shares how she and her daughters used the opportunity to move
out and start anew.
Recognizing Domestic Violence:
Domestic violence is a systematic pattern of power and control, not
just physical abuse.
It includes emotional, psychological, and financial
manipulation.
Healing Journey:
Jennifer emphasizes the importance of doing the work to heal,
including therapy, support groups, and programs.
She highlights the effectiveness of EMDR (Eye Movement
Desensitization and Reprocessing) in her healing process.
Advice for Victims and Supporters:
For victims: It's okay to take time to leave; do safety
planning.
For supporters: Be gentle and supportive, understanding the
complexities of leaving an abusive relationship.
For everyone: Do the work to heal, and find a specialist or program
that resonates with you.
Final Thoughts:
Jennifer encourages everyone to seek help and support, emphasizing
that healing is a personal journey that can be done
privately.
Learn More About Dr. Jennifer Gardella:
Visit her website: JenniferGardella.com (under construction but
accessible).
Resources:
The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com